spectre

I startled awake
didn’t recognise the room
where was I?

waiting for my memory
to wake up
and tell me
I felt a pressing need
to remember
to not lose the plot

four five years
travelling
touring
doing shows
having adventures
and I’d come unstuck
and rattled loose
a spectre
searching
for home

it seemed terribly important
that my life story
should not end
in this vague blank
that I should not
linger
in that nameless place
as an extra
a walk-on

I didn’t have a script

here was a deep fear
it has always seemed
that the folks around me
had lives
and backstories
even names and stuff
to be actual people
that their lives
really were
well

real