the big nowhere

he’s gone
into the big nowhere
Ben
you funny guy

that looming presence
both awkward
and comic
has been in mind
these last few days

I wonder if you knew
how much grief
love and missing
there’s been?

always mad for bicycles
you are recycled
and have raced away
into that big nowhere

who can say
there is a glacier
named after them?

snatched away
into the big nowhere
just as I was
in our late twenties
I was returned
you
were not

in the first shock
of that absence
I would have swapped
my burdensome body
for yours
so young
so sweet
your wit
and kindness
was needed

I hope we’ll meet
in that big nowhere
somehow to restore
the faith that was broken
in that abrupt rupture
that cataclysm
the schism
between here
and nowhere

somehow to regain friendship
with that great
big
nowhere